I must admit that there was a real temptation to skip part 3 of “Real Men” and move right into part 4. This is because I know that we have been so programmed by our culture, a biblical world-view seems strange to us. So when I talk about men and women having specific roles within a marriage there is sometimes an instant push back because our culture tells us we must be equal and the same. (If God intended us to be the same, would Eve have been necessary?)
From the beginning God instituted marriage and the family. Marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His church – oneness and love. Family reflects the relationship between us and the Father – love and a deep connection to the ones created in our image and respect and honor that should be shown to our Creator. The family is the basic unit by which the knowledge and love of God is to be propagated. When you boil it down, life is not about us – our kingdom, our pleasure, our comfort. It’s about knowing God and bringing Him glory.
So what are our individual roles in the basic building block called the family? As we discussed in (part 2), men are to be the head – the loving leaders. Woman was created to be man’s helper. Put down the stones – that’s what it says – “I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Helper is the same description used for the Holy Spirit in our lives. God looked at the church and knew we would need help, so He gave us His Spirit. Originally He looked at man and knew we needed help (man alone was the first thing He said wasn’t good), so he gave us women. The role of helper does not demean women, it elevates them.
Another role of the woman in the family is that of bearing and raising children. This is the most important job in all of life. Much of the mother’s responsibility is to take this self-centered little sinner and shape, discipline and instruct them in the ways of the Lord. The next generation of your family being devoted followers of Jesus Christ depends upon it. Unfortunately we have handed over much of this responsibility to daycare workers and government schools who do not have the same end game, care and influence that mom has. Looking at our society, can you see the results?
With this foundation I’m finally ready for the point of part 3. Real men are the primary providers for their family. As the head, whose biblical world-view is to raise the next Godly generation, it is our responsibility to provide for our family in such a way that our wives can be the primary caregiver and discipler of our young children. Is there a more important job for a mother to do than to train her children to love God and have a biblical world-view? This cannot happen in the little time we have with them between supper and bedtime. “And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6,7) It’s hard to pull this off today in the typical American family because we are never alone with our kids. Someone else is influencing them the majority of the day.
Am I saying a woman can’t contribute to the family income? No. Am I saying a woman should never work outside the home? No. I’m saying take stock of what is eternal. What is the best use of mom’s time? Is it being able to provide a better life style or developing Godly character in her children? The role of primary provider falls to you, men. In (part 2) I said that our wife’s highest good is to be our goal. I encourage you to do what you can to help your wife fulfill her greatest task.