One final ball I feel we have dropped as men is that of protector. (Just as a reminder, when I talk about being real men I’m talking about reflecting the character of God.) God is our protector. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my Rock, in whom I take refuge …” (Ps. 18:2) “How precious is Thy loving kindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Thy wings.” (Ps. 36:7) Here is a picture of us being able to come to Almighty God and find protection under His loving care and strength. As children of God, He protects us from our greatest enemy and assures us that no one can snatch us out of His hand!
As far as standing up for our wife and kids and providing physical protection for them, I think most of us do a pretty good job. When something goes bump in the night we don’t send the wife out to investigate. That role falls to us and we are comfortable with it. So where do I feel so many men are falling short? It’s in the area of protecting their daughters.
God’s design is that a woman would always be under the protective care of a man. In His loving design, He created the family, in which this woman of incredible worth is under the loving leadership, care and protection of the man. This applies to all the women in his family – his wife and daughters. The daughter is under the loving care of her father. When she gets married the father transfers that responsibility to her new husband. In God’s design, she as a weaker vessel can always rest in the comfort of a loving protector. (See Numbers 30:3-16 for this principle).
You, dad, have the responsibility to protect your daughter from the wrong guy. I see men everywhere shirking this responsibility. The divorce rate in the church is 50%. That’s men not protecting their daughters from the wrong guy. If the young man is not following hard after God, he does not qualify to be your daughter’s husband. And in large part, dads let a complete stranger come up to the door and drive away with their daughter. If you had a brand new Ferrari sitting in your driveway and some strange kid came up to the door and asked if he could take it out for a test drive, what would you tell him? But you’re going to let that same kid take your precious daughter out for a “test drive”? Which is more important to you?
I am passionate about this subject because I have witnessed too many Christian dads who were too passive in this area, which resulted in great heartache for their daughter. Dad, your daughter belongs to God. You are accountable for her well-being. It is you who transfers the responsibility for her well-being to another man. You are responsible to God and to her to make sure he is worthy.
Here is how I protected my daughter. It is not original with me. I told her that if a boy asks her out, her response was to be, “You’ll have to ask my dad”. That greatly reduces the riffraff. Next, he has to get to know you before he gets to know your daughter. Enough of this dating insanity! This is ultimately about the Christian heritage of your grandchildren. Believe me men, between your boy-blinded daughter and your romantic wife this can be a hard, lonely battle. But it is very much worth fighting for. If you need someone to come along side of you, I would love to talk with you.